Clothes are meant to fit your body, your body is not meant to be forced into clothes.
Do you still own jeans that don't fit quite right? The pants that you wore 2+ years ago? You keep them in the back of your closet because someday, one day you’ll fit them again.
I won’t shame you for keeping old clothes because I’ve done it too. It’s only recently that I’ve finally let go of pants that fit a little too tightly. When I started to get headaches and stomach pains, I told myself enough was enough. Finally, I put that pile of clothes into a bag and dropped them off at the thrift store. Did I really have to wait till I felt physical pain?
Men don’t feel guilt for not fitting their clothes right.
I’ve lived with male partners for a total of 10 years now and you know what I’ve noticed? Men don’t feel guilt for not fitting their clothes right. They simply accept they don’t fit and move on. My partners never really agonized over their bodies the way I did.
Women tend to associate their worth by their appearance. This is years of conditioning and constant messaging telling us that our self esteem is connected to our looks. That if we don’t fit into our clothes - there is something wrong with us.
The problem isn’t that we should fit into clothes, it’s that most clothing isn’t designed for us. Have you ever seen two women have the same body?
Nobody is built the same - even in childbirth. How often do you hear women complain about jeans not fitting right? How often do you try a certain size in one brand, but your size is different for another brand?
I wish I can offer a solution and give you a list of shops that are conscious of the womens body, but I don’t know enough. If you know a few, please reply and give me your favorites so I can compile and share it!
Here’s some homework. So about those pants?
Store away clothes that don’t feel good.
Put them in a dark corner of your closet. Label the bag with today’s date. Putting those clothes in a place that isn’t always accessible, gives you some mental and emotional space to not think about it daily. Store them for now and when you’re ready, get rid of it. I'll remind you.