No one tells you how hard breastfeeding is. I thought breastfeeding was this magical thing that happens naturally. That babies instinctively know what to do. Well turns out that’s all a bunch of bull💩⁣

If another parent decided to breastfeed or use formula, I didn’t think twice about their decision bc it was theres.⁣

It seemed that every resource I could find was leaning towards breastfeeding. Doctors, nurses and parents all had undertones that “breast is best”. The books, articles and recommendations talked about all the benefits. How it could prevent SIDS. Everyone says “fed is best” but what it they meant is “fed is best when you can’t physically breastfeed”⁣

Of course I want the best for my child! I told myself I would never let myself succumb to mom guilt. That I’d try my best and if it doesn’t work for me, I’ll accept it and move on. ⁣

Here I am. Calling myself a bad mom, sobbing over the sudden decline of my supply. Desperately massaging my breasts until they bruise. Exhausted and feverish from mastitis. ⁣

No one told me it takes time to learn. ⁣it’s not natural.

Social media made it look like magic.⁣

No one told me that my nipples would crack and get sore that showering would hurt. ⁣

No one told me that my breasts would be throbbing sore and lumpy. That I’d have to massage them literally all. The. Time.

No one told me that if I didn’t drain the milk properly, I could get an infection that would lead to so many complications. ⁣

No one told me she would kick and scream at me. It’s so hard not to take that personal.

The list goes on...

This is my journey so far but it may end soon and that’s okay. She’s happy and healthy and growing on time. I need to make sure I’m happy & healthy too. ❤️