"Tumaba Ka" You've gained weight.⁠⠀

"ang payat mo" You're so skinny.⁠⠀

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These phrases are so common in Filipino culture that it's often the first thing people comment on. Most of the time it's said more than "How are you?"⁠⠀

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I would either get "You've gotten fat" or "Your so skinny are you eating?" or "Wow you've gotten dark". ⁠⠀

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Always about how I looked first.⁠⠀

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Growing up, we are taught to 'Respect your elders' so I would smile and nod - Internalizing all the negative comments that was said. My weight fluctuates a lot going from “too fat” to “too skinny”⁠ apparently to them. There’s no winning.⠀

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Eventually, I was able to avoid these comments by simply avoiding my family. That came with other hardships, one of them not feeling like I belonged in the Filipino community and missing family events... (more on that another time).⁠⠀

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What's your experience and how have you overcome these comments?⁠⠀

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I've gotten a lot of DMs about this! Scroll to read some of the stories.⁠⠀

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#toxicfilipinoculture#bodyshaming#emmelinethings⁠⠀

This topic is inspired by @onedwnmedia + @jeppyparaiso