I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for being mentally drained when all I’ve done is stay home. ⠀

I think of my parents hardships through poverty and migrating to a new country. ⠀

How they had to learn a new language, blend in with a completely new culture and face prejudice and racism.⠀

Here I am, ⠀

laying on my couch, ⠀

doom scrolling for what seems like forever. ⠀

Sad? Not exactly. ⠀

Detached - that seems more accurate. ⠀

I don’t get to see anyone, ⠀

I can’t go to my fav cafes, ⠀

I can’t do things I like to do. ⠀

Yet, im ungrateful for the things I can do.⠀

not seizing the day. ⠀

I could go for a walk, meditate, eat healthy,⠀

do some kind of exercise,⠀

treat myself a little better. ⠀

I could sign up for free courses online and try something new. ⠀

I could schedule FaceTime dates or make the effort to reconnect with friends. ⠀

But instead⠀

I choose not to do all those things today. Yesterday.⠀

The day before. ⠀

The days are dragging on,⠀

blending together.⠀

The only semblance of normal is ⠀

waking up with the hope ⠀

that it will be ⠀

different today. ⠀

Then I walk to the living room,⠀

My couch looks safe...⠀

And the cycle continues. ⠀

We’re not fighting a war. ⠀

We have a roof over our heads.⠀

We have food every day. ⠀

We are healthy and safe. ⠀

But why do I still feel this way?⠀

We’re okay. ⠀

Baby is okay. ⠀

I should be okay too. ⠀

———⠀

#showerthoughts#emmelinethings#covidtimes

PSA don’t worry, I’m actually ok 🤍 ⠀

I have developed the tools to get out of the cycle. Sometimes I think it’s okay to succumb to it as long as we recognize it✌🏼⠀

I also feel that by sharing things like this, we all feel less alone. ⠀

#StayStrong everyone