I feel a tremendous amount of guilt for being mentally drained when all I’ve done is stay home. ⠀
⠀
I think of my parents hardships through poverty and migrating to a new country. ⠀
How they had to learn a new language, blend in with a completely new culture and face prejudice and racism.⠀
⠀
Here I am, ⠀
laying on my couch, ⠀
doom scrolling for what seems like forever. ⠀
Sad? Not exactly. ⠀
Detached - that seems more accurate. ⠀
I don’t get to see anyone, ⠀
I can’t go to my fav cafes, ⠀
I can’t do things I like to do. ⠀
Yet, im ungrateful for the things I can do.⠀
not seizing the day. ⠀
I could go for a walk, meditate, eat healthy,⠀
do some kind of exercise,⠀
treat myself a little better. ⠀
I could sign up for free courses online and try something new. ⠀
I could schedule FaceTime dates or make the effort to reconnect with friends. ⠀
⠀
But instead⠀
I choose not to do all those things today. Yesterday.⠀
The day before. ⠀
⠀
The days are dragging on,⠀
blending together.⠀
The only semblance of normal is ⠀
waking up with the hope ⠀
that it will be ⠀
different today. ⠀
⠀
Then I walk to the living room,⠀
My couch looks safe...⠀
And the cycle continues. ⠀
⠀
We’re not fighting a war. ⠀
We have a roof over our heads.⠀
We have food every day. ⠀
We are healthy and safe. ⠀
⠀
But why do I still feel this way?⠀
⠀
We’re okay. ⠀
Baby is okay. ⠀
I should be okay too. ⠀
⠀
⠀
———⠀
#showerthoughts#emmelinethings#covidtimes ⠀
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PSA don’t worry, I’m actually ok 🤍 ⠀
I have developed the tools to get out of the cycle. Sometimes I think it’s okay to succumb to it as long as we recognize it✌🏼⠀
I also feel that by sharing things like this, we all feel less alone. ⠀
⠀
#StayStrong everyone