the only way out is through


This photo was taken in Oct 2014. I had finally fully broken up from on and off again bf. We went through the shitter together. He helped me realize that I had demons of my own that I needed to accept and not fight. He was battling his own demons. Our friends were battling theirs. We all came together sort of half helping each other but never really understood what it all meant. All trying to be “real adults” scraping every penny, struggling to pay rent. Buying booze instead of food just to get by. It was a hard time. It was even hard bc of our mental state. It was hard for him bc i never understood what it meant to have a mental illness. There was lots of long nights of tears and screams. I would go absolutely insane. I’d black out from anger, I’d black out from sadness. I would rip people apart with my words then do it to myself. I’d self harm, I’d take pills, I’d drink, I’d walk around in the middle of the night. I’d sleep in the trees or in the car bc I thought I’d deserve it. I tried so many times to end my life but when I was in the hospital, there was a brief moment I’d hope someone would come rescue me from this darkness. But I pushed everyone so far far away. Yeah, it was a hard time. But I made it bc of of Deb, my crisis counsellor, bc of my cognitive behaviour classes, bc of the self help support groups, bc of my ex who tried so so hard to be there even when he was struggling. I made it bc I was educated on what mental health is and how to get through. if the resources, people and a little bit of hope wasn’t there, I probably wouldn’t be here. And big thank you to @jarrenbaldo for being a constant support even if he doesn’t quite understands. #bellletstalk Let’s talk. End the stigma.