I’ve surrendered my body to this being growing inside of me


It’s strange. ⁣⁣

I already feel like I’ve surrendered my body to this being growing inside of me. ⁣⁣

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The idea of motherhood is completely new and unreal. ⁣⁣

Me a mother? Ha!⁣⁣

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The cliche, “I can barely take care of myself” is true but for me it’s more,⁣⁣

Do I have the ability to give up my selfishness for another being? Am I willing and able to give up my time, energy and my hard earned money?⁣⁣

Am I able to give up my goals and ambitions for a being that barely even exists?⁣⁣

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I love my life the way it is. I love the time I have. The freedom to move and do anything I want. I can easily hop on a bus to the mountains or take the next flight to Asia. I could suddenly switch careers. ⁣⁣

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Now, that doesn’t seem as easily possible. ⁣⁣

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Even with all these anxieties, I realize that I truly do want to be a mother.⁣⁣

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As I mentioned many times, I’ve always imagined my future with a child. A baby? Not exactly. Adopting was in my future plans but this happened out of nowhere. ⁣⁣

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Who is actually ready to have kids?⁣⁣

The universe decided for us and the time is now. ⁣⁣

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(I am 100% pro choice. This is a decision I made on my own.)⁣⁣

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I looked at my life and thought⁣⁣

I love my life. ⁣⁣

I am with my bestfriend.⁣⁣

We’ve travelled and experienced life together for the past five years. ⁣⁣

We know what we love. ⁣⁣

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This? It’s bonus. ⁣⁣

It’s a result of our love. ⁣⁣

& I cannot imagine our future anything but full of happiness, love and adventure like our past 5 years have been. ⁣⁣

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I’m terrified but⁣⁣

I think we’ll be okay. ⁣⁣

Welcome home little one 🤍⁣

#emmelinethings#mjbaldo